Death of a friend: guess not that important!

Death.  Just the simple word holds so much weight. The permanent end, the ultimate stop as far as the average human perception is concerned. It’s upsetting, saddening, tragic… Made worse the closer we are to the one who as passed away.

Death demands attention. So much attention that we even have whole ceremonies centered around the person who might not even be able to appreciate it anymore. It has to be respected, either by standing completely quiet for a few minutes, dressing in black for a month, or in some cases even celebrated with singing. Even if death is made mundane, like during war time, we are still shocked to how not-shocking it becomes.

So, considering this, why are newer authors treating the death of a character’s friend so casually lately?!

It might be a bit early to go out on a rampage, considering this rant is based on only two books I’ve read. Nevertheless, I have to get this off my chest.

I have just finished reading the book The thine. It was written by Holly Black, an author I hold in high regards due to her Curseworkes series. That said, I found this book to be a real let down in a lot of way. Yet, one moment that really got me fired up happened towards the end. Spoiler alert: the childhood friend of the main protagonist dies. Murdered as a result of a chain reaction that the heroine HERSELF set in motion. Not intentionally, but she was involved in it none-the-less.

We can already see there’s a lot of trauma. Not only did she lose pretty much her only friend, but it was because of something she did. The grief, the guilt, the mourning… One would expect this to be a very powerful thing. A whole chapter worth of material if not more. But what ends up happening? The protagonist gets pulled away, they briefly mention she cried herself to sleep after an argument with her boyfriend. Cut to next day where she wakes up and basically TRIES ON OUTFITS. I was starching my head, wondering if I missed a page or ten.  Even the strongest character have some sort of a mood shift is something like a death of a friend happens.

But ok. There was still the thing with the dead friend’s brother still being held captive. The girl was probably going to put the emotions away till they resolve this very urgent matter. Thing is, afterwards there are so many random interactions and the main pair bickering over completely irrelevant relationship problems, that the urgency gets lost. In fact, it makes things look so ordinary that I forgot that her friend just died! And it wasn’t like they had to go through any of it. They knew where the brother was! They should have just went there instead and got him! They didn’t gain any insight or learned any special skills talking to other people.

Then the climax FINALLY happens and the epilog starts. It’s the friend’s funeral. Her brother also just figured out his sister died. It starts out somber enough. And theeeeeeen… the brother offers the girl a bouquet of pixy sticks. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? They don’t talk about his dead sister at all, it’s never shown if the brother asked how she died, or how exactly he was effected by it. Nope. Just pii sticks and off goes the brother so the girl and her boyfriend can have a finishing conversation about kisses with a magical plastic prancing pony. (I am not kidding about the last one)

I was just in shock. I knew the sister might not have been a major character in the story overall, or very interesting for that matter. Yet, it was obvious she must have meant something to the protagonist. We see them interact; we see that they hang out a lot. This should have been a bigger deal! It’s not something you brush off for kisses and pixy sticks.

Thing is, this wasn’t the first time I saw death of a friend handled so insultingly sloppily. A while back I also read another book titled Fallen by Lauren Kate. The first half seemed decent, I guess. Then things started to get weird, then boring or downright silly, but the end was just offensive.

So, just to illustrate my point, I’ll try to summarize real quick. The main protagonist is held in a school for delinquents. She doesn’t make a lot of friends there, but there is one girl that is really nice to her. She’s described as fat and a bit of a loner or maybe even a little geeky, but she’s really nice and helpful. She stays with the protagonist even when things get life-threatening, but in the climax she gets murdered. The protagonist is shocked, but doesn’t really have time at the moment escaping from a crazy killer lay. Afterwards, she gets saved by her hot angel boyfriend and then it feels like: “Friend? What friend? Oh, you mean the fat geek that basically covered my ass the whole story and was killed due to associating with me? Pff, who cares! She was just a human! I wanna party it up with all the angels and I don’t need her weighing me down. I’m off to the tropical islands now, bye-bye!”

I admit that I have forgotten the ending a bit, but I think that she doesn’t even bother staying for the funeral.

So yeah, that makes two books where a dear friend dies and the author treat it like the protagonist’s favorite shirt got ruined. Additionally, it also pulls in the mentality that everything’s fine as long as there is a hot stud to embrace you and tell you that it is not your fault. It’s busy and clustered, downright disrespectful to the deceased! Remember when there were whole revenge plots made because someone got murdered? Wasn’t that long ago I think.

Remember writers; show your characters the same respects you would to a real person.

Horse riding 101

To be honest, pretty much any theory you learn is mostly useless in practice since horse riding is a skill that can only be picked up by doing in my opinion. Even if you know how you’re supposed to sit in the saddle that doesn’t mean you’ll have the strength to do it. Not to mention this blog entry will probably be useless to anyone who has already had a few lessons. Still, this might interest you if you are thinking of picking up on horse riding as a hobby, or if you want to take a horse-back tour, but never even sat on one before.

1. Exercise

Yeah, if you think all you have to do on a horse is sit, put it in first gear and turn the steering wheel you will be quickly disappointed. It may look easy, but it can be petty tiring. Any gait above a simple walk requires almost every part of your body to work. Not to mention if you get a stubborn or easily-startled horse where you’ll either have to nearly jam your feet into him to make him move, or will have to hold back his reins so he doesn’t flip out.

So, before starting, it doesn’t hurt to have well-developed inner thigh muscles that will primarily help you stay on the horse and keep its movements controlled. While the reins mostly control the direction a horse will go, your legs are the one thing making him move by applying the right amount of pressure.

Secondly, you should also train your stomach muscles.  Horses hate a rider that will constantly bounce up and down on their backs, so being able to keep your movements as calm as possible is essential. The stomach basically keeps your upper body centered by lightly leaning forward or back, depending on the gait.

Lastly, the arms. Some horses can get out of hand quickly, so you’ll have to be strong enough to pull the reins to get them to calm down or slow down. It will also help you keep your hands calm while riding. I’m sure you wouldn’t enjoy being constantly pulled on the mouth for no apparent reason, and rest assured, horses don’t like it as well.

2. The right clothing

If you don’t practice horse riding, you mostly likely don’t have the correct equipment like riding pants and riding boots or gaiters. Some ranches provide some equipment, some don’t. So I suggest that you think about this before you leave for the tour, since a poor choice of clothing might end up being more bothersome than you’ve thought.

Riding pants are tight, have little to no stiches on the inner side of their thighs where the padding is as well. This is because the inner thighs are the ones pressing up against the saddle and constant rubbing might irritate your skin. If you happen to have pants that have no stiches inn that area they’ll probably be ideal, but comfortable sweatpants can also be used. DO NOT wear shorts!

Also, under no circumstance forget socks, especially if you do not have high boots or gaiters. The stirrup will rub against your ankle and I might actually leave quite an injury.

The top is a bit more flexible. T can be a simple t-shirt or tank top if it’s hot, or a sweater if it’s cold. As long as you’re not wearing a tunic, something with really wavy sleeves or something you’ll wear to your hotel dinner, you should be ok.

Important: If the ranch doesn’t provide helmets, at least bring a bike helmet along.

3.Before riding

Before you get on that saddle, it doesn’t hurt to stretch a little bit, especially your legs and hips. Getting to know your horse is a good start too. Ask the horse owner or whoever is responsible for it about the horse.  Things like how easily it gets scared or how does it get on with other horses can be very important. If he’s easily startled, you’ll have to act in advance and pay attention to anything in your proximity that might scare your equestrian friend. If it is a bit more aggressive towards other horses it probably prefers to have its space. Make sure to keep distance from other horses. If you think the horse will be too much for you to handle, ask for another one.

4. Approaching a horse

Horses in the wild used to graze on open fields where they were an easy target for predators, so you should respect that instinct when you approach it. If not absolutely unavoidable, never approach a horse from behind if you want to keep all of your teeth.  It won’t see you, so when it suddenly feels your presence it will buck in self-defense. However, if you are in a situation where this is unavoidable and there is no one to help, repeatedly make sounds like calling its name so it knows you’re there. Get to the side as much as possible and carefully put your hand on the horse. if it’s a domestic horse, it probably won’t act  aggressively as long as you are letting it know your whereabouts.

The best way to approach a horse is from the side, where it will see you clearly. Don’t run to it, just calmly walk up to it and show it you mean no harm. A little treat like a carrot or a kibble is usually a good peace offering. Also, pay attention to the horse’s body language as you approach him, especially its ears. If they are standing up, it means he is content with you and will accept you. If they are moving around, it’s likely that he’s in slight alert. Don’t worry, he’s probably just curious about you, or there is some commotion near you it wants to check out. just walk slowly, call its name and it should be fine. What could be problematic is if its ears are pulled back and flat on its head. That is a clear sign of anger and aggression. A horse is likely to snap at you or try to buck you. If this happens, seek help from someone with more experiences or the horse.

5. Posture

The way you sit on the horse is like a first impression. If you are slouching or are fidgety and nervous, he won’t take you seriously and might not respond to you. When you get in the saddle, sit confidently with a straight back, keep your movements as calm as possible and don’t shift your weight around too much if not necessary. However, don’t be a stone-faced tyrant, show it some love. Horses usually like to be rewarded with a light tap on the neck. If you’re confident enough, you can even lean forward and hug it. Just don’t put too much weight on it. Nobody likes a pain in the neck- pun intended. You can also talk to it. It helps to calm down you and the horse.

 These are about all the tips I have. Remember, even if you think you understand everything it will be a completely different world as soon as you get in that saddle. Just stay calm and confident. Pay attention to your horse ad to your instructions and you will most likely have an experience you won’t forget.

Comfortable travel: ship vs. hotel

A key aspect to a good and exciting vacation you’ll fondly treasure in your memories is choosing the accommodations. Some people have no problems as long as they have a roof over their head, some do appreciate or even need the comfort that a well-furnished hotel room provides them. For the later types, staying in a nice hotel resort sounds like the only option, but there is another one I find to be over-looked: a cruise ship.

I have experiences with both and would like to compare the two based on my experience. Perhaps you might consider some of these points before planning your next trip.

 The price tag

Neither of them has a price that would be affordable to anyone, but there is a belief that cruises tend to cost more than a hotel. Or at least, that’s what I thought. However, if you just look at the staying price, you realize that the hotels can be a lot more expensive. What usually ramps up the cost of a cruise is the transport to and from the ship itself.

Ships can also be a cheaper option for a family vacation. In hotels, you mostly lose the status of ‘child’ at 14 and have to pay full price from then on out. On a cruise ship, that status lasts up till 18 years, and children can stay for free.

Of course, I advise you to check that before booking the vacation, as it may differ depending on the company or hotel.

Accommodations

Personally, I didn’t notice a jarring difference between a cabin and a hotel room. Most ships could be described as floating hotels anyway. The main difference might be just the size as cabins tend to be a bit smaller. However, there is still plenty of room for you to get all dressed up and ready and the cabins do have their very own bathroom, so there are no worries about having to share.

Although, if you are in need of a lot of space and like spending a lot of your time in your room, I suggest the hotel.

Food and drinks

Ah, very important, but a very subjective topic. Some people can eat anything while others are more selective of their menu. Thus, I won’t discuss the taste and quality of the food, as it is too specific, but I can say that so far I’ve always found something delicious to eat in both a hotel and a ship.

I will mention the presentation however. So far all the ships I was on had a self-service restaurant and an “a la card” one.  The self-service was your typical restaurant, laid-back and all, but the “a la card” one was something that stuck with me the most. You received your own table and each table had a waiter appointed to it. Thus you never had to wait long for service.  You had a three-course menu, each course having different dishes to choose from. Spending on the occasion, you might even receive a little show, as was the case when all the waiters brought in a Baked Alaska cake and set it aflame in front of us. It was very tasty too.

I don’t have any memory of such a grand display at the dinner table in any hotel resort I’ve been to. There was usually a theme for the dinner every night, but nothing so grandiose and eye-catching. The best case I can make for hotels in terms of food display is a time at a hotel where they would serve a big cake e very night, usually shaped like a figure. Like a lizard or a crocodile or a snake for instance.

What is there to see?

If you are searching for a way to see as much as you possibly can in the most comfortable manner, I would say you should choose a ship. Hands down.  Not only will you wake up in a different city every day, but you’ll also have a good night’s sleep while getting there. The ship company also offer guided tours on land, but you are also free to go off-board on your own and take some time to explore at your own pace. Just keep track of the ship’s schedule.

However, if you plan on getting deeper into the local culture or just wanting to go out on an evening stroll into town whenever you feel like it, then the hotel might be a better option for you. If nothing else, you won’t have to worry about forgetting the time and it sailing off without you. But that does mean you won’t see Venice today and Barcelona tomorrow.

Order of conduct

I’m only bringing this up because a lot of people believe that cruises are for the rich that dress in evening gowns and tuxedos as soon as the clock hits 6 and enjoy their friendly banter with a glass of champagne with golden flakes in it.

That is not true. If a cruise is in your budget, you won’t have to worry about having to spend extra money on formal wear for every evening and take classes on posh behavior so you’ll know with which spoon to eat. Most of the time guests just go about in regular t-shirts and shorts. They might dress it up a bit for the evening dinner, but you certainly won’t get kicked out of the restaurant if your suit is not a custom-tailored brand. Minor elegance is enough should be enough, like just wearing a plain shirt. However, if you do want to wear that gorgeous dress you had to buy for this one occasion and think you would never have the chance to wear it again; pack it by all means.

Yet, I have to say the hotels usually are less formal, at least the resorts I’ve been to.

Conclusion

As you may have noticed, I am highly in favor of ships. If you don’t have a problem with sea sickness, I see almost no reason not to go. They are probably the best option for family vacations with teens, as they offer an environment where parents won’t feel guilty for loosening the leash and the teens will appreciate a bit more freedom to go to ship’s discos or pool. They are also great for comfortable travel and exploring.

A hotel on the other hand might be better for families with smaller children, as they offer a bit more room for them to run around, and they often include water parks. They’re also better for people that want to really get into the local culture and will take time to thoroughly explore the area, or just want to kick it by the beach.

So, I hope this helps you when you plan your next dream vacation.