I leaned
about this today and quite frankly I was outraged. I know there is almost no
way I can’t make this post controversial
and considering I never stepped foot in America I might not be the best
to judge, but I really want to express this and I’ll try to explain why.
So, today I
found out about a new American trend called Purity balls. From what I’ve seen,
it’s about girls as young as 5 attending these ceremonies with their families,
but most importantly, their fathers. It’s a fancy formal ceremony where they
wear pretty dresses and tiaras and have what I imagine is a pretty gourmand
meal. However, the girls take a pledge to God and their fathers, swearing to
keep their virginity until marriage. Afterwards, the have a father-daughter
dance. If you want to see the dances for
yourself, here are a two Youtube links to get you started: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_KL92oBWcQ
First of
all, I have a serious problem with teaching young people only abstinence in the
first place. It’s not so much a problem as a girl deciding she is uncomfortable
having sex unless the context of a marriage. For me, it becomes a problem when
someone thinks it is his or her place to make that decision for her. I would be
equally appalled by a parent forcing his child to have sex as I would be by a
parent strictly forbidding it. A job of a parent is to educate and warn their
child about the world, telling them what consequences their actions may have
and presenting them truthfully, not making their decisions for them. Especially
not regarding something as personal as sex.
Secondly,
it digs into the realms of peer pressure. It is a thing that is essentially
unavoidable, but making such a personal choice public like that does not help
it one bit. It puts the girls in a position where they have to loudly declare
their position in front of everyone. It may not seem like it, but it is. What
if a girl says she does not want to take the pledge? It may not necessarily be
because she has or is planning on having sex; she simply does not know where
she stands on the topic yet, and really, if you’re below about 15 you are still
getting to know your body. Worst of all, people take their five-year-olds to
these balls. FIVE! At that young age your body hasn’t even BEGAN to mature.
These girls have no idea what they’re saying; they are only taking the pledge
because they can wear pretty dresses! They still have no idea what sex is about
and yet you are already making them say no to it?
Thirdly,
the ‘Princess Myth’ has never been more apparent. The ‘Princess Myth’ is where
girls are led to believe that if they will be patient, pure and obedient, their
prince Charming will come and sweep them off their feet. It essentially is the
foundation for the stereotypical house wife who will rely on the man to bring
in the money. Yet the truth is that life doesn’t always work that way. I won’t
even touch on the chances that that ‘Prince Charming’ may become abusive, but
what if he dies? What if he finds another? What if he has an accident and is
unable to work? Why if the economy is so bad one wage will not be enough to
feed the household? These are all horrible, but important things you need to
consider and all speak against one spouse relying on the other.
Lastly,
they play this as father-daughter bonding, but really it looks like they try to
push the father into the role of the boyfriend, or rather your husband. The
girls promise their chastity to them, like a woman promises she will be fateful
to her husband, and not only that. She essentially promises her chastity to her
dad, to God, to Jesus, but never to herself. This is what really worries me.
